The Dark Side
"Come to the DARK SIDE, We have cookies." Our daughter has a knick-knack that sits on her shelf, with this saying on it. And at first, we found it humorous for our Star Wars fans family. But thoughts woke me this morning, that this is kinda' truthful... The darkness is what makes the light all the brighter, the bitterness makes the sweetness all the sweeter, hence, yes, once you've been on the dark side in life, you will have cookies -- you will see the blessings as sweeter than before!
I have read some interesting arguments in our schoolie groups in regards to the romance verses the reality of living in a converted school bus. The unromantic side has definitely been on my mind these days...
For over one year now, I have been consistently insecure, constantly 'looking over my shoulder' and wondering if we were going to be asked to move on. After all, we were living on land belonging to others. For two days, I have been able to breath. And I remind myself, with a kind of awe, that this is our home, and I can relax, and not be worried... It's a feeling that is more appreciated because of the experience of the past months.
The unromantic side? Having to rely on others for a place to park our bus while doing the conversion; Fern losing sight in one eye because of a moment's lapse in judgement while removing rivets from the bus wall; trying to live off-grid in the Canadian deep-winter with not enough insulation; getting told to move on by the ministry, and having nowhere to go; washing in sinks and/or asking to shower at other people's homes; being told that I am foolish and my husband wouldn't be blind in one eye if it weren't for my foolishness; consistently being asked why we don't just get an apartment; and lastly, knowing that our whole accumulation of thirty years is put into this RV, and we have to make this work cause this is it.
Do I sound regretful? I am not. Of course I would not ask for my husband to be blind in one eye! But he is happy -- and I am constantly amazed that he is! I love this man! And we have seen SO MANY BLESSINGS in the last year! I have been sharing them with you.
"We have cookies." I love the "we" in that! Because I have never been on the dark side alone. And I have the privilege of sharing the blessings because of those who have been with us...
We are blessed! We FEEL blessed! I am content. Life is beautiful. We love our little home. I am ever so thankful for our new space of land! I hope you can reach a point when the brightness of the light was worth the darkness, or having been through the dark side. We have seen this in our lives.