I would love to share a story - a story of tough times, of reaching from the bottom, of grasping desperately in our own strength and “wisdom”...
The coldest, bleakest months were desperately tough - not in the everyday tasks, nor in the realities of living in our odd off-grid lifestyle, but in our business and finances, or lack thereof.
My husband, grasping, called me on the phone, and said, “I think you should look for work.”
Here is where I need to give you some background, so that you may understand the depths of this story:
Some years ago, I was provided with a grant to take a college course, and trained to do a job for which I had been volunteering in since almost childhood. (You can learn more about this in my “About Me” on thecaptainandhislady.com)
I was thrilled to be able to officially work in the health care field, and felt like God was giving me a work that He created me to do and had prepared for me in advance! God gifted this to me!
Three years ago, I put this employ aside to care for and help my husband, after his accident which took his sight in one eye. (Read "Our Story".) I worked with him for approximately two years with his business, before starting my blog and writing of children’s books.
I can honestly tell you that I was somewhat confused that God would remove this health care job that He obviously gave to me, and fit me so well, and fulfilled who I believed I was — using my talents, my gifts…
And so, I struggled with closing my Home Health Care business. I struggled with resenting my husband... Why did I close my business? Not to say negative about my husband. No. He saw things financially, and felt that I was not making enough money for the work and that we could get ahead financially in a wiser fashion working together on his business. But, his work was not my expertise, and although I wanted to help him, my heart was saddened at the loss of who I am, and having the ability to use my talents and skills…
I prayed and cried as I shut down my own business to honour God through honouring my husband. I’ll be honest here, too: I hung onto some of “my stuff” - my pink scrubs, my business cards, flyers, my pretty stationary that I designed to reflect my love of pink and flowers and femininity. I then donned black pants and superhero t-shirts to go to work amongst mostly men and dirty environments…
Add this to my newly adapted “empty-nester” lifestyle, and know that I was feeling very lost and confused.
It took me almost a year before I finally surrendered and let go — I gave away my pink uniforms, and literally burned my stationery and cards. Every now and then, I would receive a phone call from someone looking for Lady in Pink Care’s services, and it kind of stung, but I would pray once I hung up. I know God knows best, irregardless of feeling like I was kind of in the dark, so to speak.
I was at peace. Why? Because I was obeying God, and He only wants what is best for me.
God also showed me the fun I could have working with my husband. He is a great boss, and very patient teacher and encourager.
As well, God gave me time to write, and showed me another talent in this. So, writing became my reprieve from the “man world” I was immersed into... Here, I could still use my passionate artsy side through writing.
But, alas, writing doesn’t make money right away.
And, so, we are back to the original storyline, and I found myself applying for work in the health care field — starting from scratch. I applied. Nothing happened. But this is not the end of the story.
Again, I must admit that ugly head of resentment came up as from the depths. Some of my certifications had expired, and I didn’t have my scrubs anymore… My husband had made me quit, and now he wants my help...wants me to go back to what he took away in the first place.
We had done what we could, my husband and I… Here we were, floating about in our sea of confusion and worry, nowhere to go from here in our own wisdom.
So, we had to pray. We had to let it go into God’s capable hands.
Two weeks later, one of our daughters received an email from a company that she had dealt with eight years previously - a letter from a head hunter looking for health care workers. Our daughter forwarded this to me in case I might be interested. With little effort, I sent in my paperwork, not expecting much in return.
Within 40 minutes, I received a phone call, and in the next two weeks, a frenzied amount of job offers came flying at me! I was able to choose the job placement I desired most, make the hours I chose, choose the days I was to be available for work, dictate my rate of pay, and start working with two days!
My expired credentials are being taken care of, I received funds to purchase new scrubs and the needed shoes. My husband’s concern about needing a vehicle for me to drive to and from the job was provided by a couple from our church family who are staying home!
Wow!! Just WOW!!
I suddenly had what God created me to do in a job! By asking me to help my husband, God was testing me, asking me to let what I “wanted” go…
When times were the roughest, we tried all we could to make things work our own way. We grew discouraged, and we lost our way. We decided to go back to what we knew best, in our own strength.
But this didn’t work, either.
And this is when God called out to us in our boat upon the waters, so to speak, while we were fishing for anything, but catching nothing… (see John 21)
“Do things My way,” God says, “and you will have more than you can even imagine!” And this is exactly what He has done for me!
I love to share a story, and God stories are the best!!